Returning to Reality – Losing the Power of Choice

Is it just me?, life

I fear that going back to a normality is near. So now I must prepare to say goodbye to endless free time.

But my animosity and fear are not about free time, are they? God knows I have far too much of that free time. Too much time to sit and think about the end of times and the purpose of all life in the universe.

A routine would do me some good, no one will deny that truth. A regular schedule to keep me accountable and productive, while making money at the same time – what could be the downside?

The thoughts that scare me involve choice. Normality will take my choices away. No more freedom. No more waking up and deciding what to do today based on feelings and desire. 

If I want to stay in bed today or drive four hours to the coast, I can. I could even do a little bit of both. I don’t necessarily want to travel to see a wonder of the world today, but I could if the urge overtook me. I could, and that’s the point. I wouldn’t have to ask for time off, wait for approval from a boss, or hold onto my urges until the weekend comes. That’s what it means to be free, right? Waking up to whatever horizon I decide, in the moment?

Though freedom comes with free time. Time to…consider all things, all possibilities, all theories of the universe and the bubbles of other universes potentially surrounding it. I enjoyed it at first, but now…I think way too much about how I’ll never amount to anything worth writing about.

Knowing the benefits of working and having a set schedule again don’t make returning any easier. I’ll miss having a choice. Whether I take advantage of having a choice is my business, and it doesn’t matter. I want it, and I can’t stand the thought of letting it go.

Reality is soon to return, and my freedom of choice will be a concept of the past.

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Scar in the Field

Everything and Everyone in this Existence

Is it just me?, life, Poems, stories, This is Why I Don't Have Friends

Everyone is someone, which means that no one is anyone. You might be nobody to everyone else, while no one means more to me than you. All the other ‘someones’ are no one. They fade to dust, you grow into perfection in front of my imperfect eyes.

Everyone wants to talk, but no one has anything to say. Ramble on. About what? No one and nothing of any importance to anyone with a mind of his/her own. Yet, every sound you make – it’s perfect sense. Nothing could be more beautiful. 

Everyone has the answers, but no one knows the truth. You – you are the truth, the only truth anyone should ever care to know. Someone has the answers out there, but no one should care about those answers. You are the answer.

Everyone is ONE individual world full of emotion, loss, happiness, pain, and perception. A single planet trapped inside anyone with a brain and beating heart. Your world is mine, mine is yours. Everyone’s planet is filled with someone of importance, but no one of reality. 

Who are you? And who am I? Answers will vary. Answers mean nothing. Perception is the god of our universe.

Who are you, to you? Because to me, you are the world. The world inside me dissolves into nothing when you come around. My world, here in my heart, I give it to you. Every inch, mile, and memory – all to you. The organs inside my chest are replaced with thoughts and images of your face. You are everything and everyone I’ll ever care to know.

Am I real? Do I exist? I exist as much as anyone else in my mind. As long as you exist, then I know I am real. You are reality, the only reality that I’ll ever care to live inside of.

Thank. you, eternally, for existing.

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Wow

Head in the Clouds

Is it just me?, life, Metaphors in Nature, This is Why I Don't Have Friends

Hours upon hours of fresh, local and international news plays constantly on television and radio everyday. Newspapers and magazines overload us with current affairs and celebrity life events. 

For many people, keeping up with the latest news across the globe is a daily duty. Watch some news channels with morning coffee, read the newspaper at lunch, pick up a magazine on the weekends – it’s normal and pretty much expected of all adults. 

And then there’s the people like me. The ones who are caught up in the irrelevant mysteries of the multiverse, the purpose of all life on the planet, and the new season of Doctor Who. The people who don’t have a clue what’s going on in the real world because there’s a multitude of science fiction left to discover before our final doom comes into play.

It’s important to know all species that exist in the Star Wars Extended Universe, all theories of space beyond the view of the most powerful telescope, and to finish every Halo novel that’s ever been published. 

‘Current affairs’ for people like us doesn’t include discussions on trade with China or tax reduction plans. No, for us, what needs to be discussed is the reunion of Captain Picard and the rest of The Next Generation Enterprise crew.

Shouldn’t I pay attention to what’s happening around me? Why? It’s not like I have the power to stop wars or elect political leaders myself. I can’t solve world hunger or fix the pollution crisis. Better people than me have tried. So I prefer to keep my head in the clouds. Life is too short to stress about things I could never hope to help. I dream of space travel and hanging out with alien species across galactic barriers, venturing below the surface of the ocean and discovering Atlantis.

What’s really going on? Who really ever knows the truth.

I’ll keep my head in the clouds. It’s where I belong.

white cumulus clouds

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