The Sounds that Save My Soul

Is it just me?, life, Metaphors in Nature, Pets, Poems, stories, Wildlife

The laugh – that sweet, soft, soul stopping laugh that could melt even the hardest of hearts. When you see it coming and hear its tunes, you won’t be able to stop the smile from overtaking your expressions. No one – not the coldest, saddest, or cruelest of humans can resist the chuckle of the child.

The purr – a sound to let me know that he feels safe. That he’s happy in his forever home. A tiny motor running at full power. I put my ear to his ribs and listen. Warm, comforting, gentle and pleasant.

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Collin

The birds – they chirp and sing in the morning sunlight. A chorus of vast species to wake the spirit from rest.  A steady melody, one after the other. Flying, chirping, soaring from tree to tree through the early morning breeze.

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Seagulls in Galveston

The howls – the pups are hungry and excited to see the first glimpse of a human face for the day. Genuine love. Genuine happiness. It radiates with their every sound. I want to leap with joy alongside them.

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Ryder

The music – a song for sorrow, a ballad for love, guitars for greatness, bass for battles ahead. All moods, all challenges, covered in a three minute masterpiece of instruments and melody. They play in random order, each one causing feelings to stir in my heart.

And again, the laugh – always back to the laugh of the infant. It is without a doubt or debate the single most beautiful sound ever heard by a living soul. It meshes together every wonderful moment of audio into one single note. Every memory of happiness, everyday of excitement, each pleasure circuit activated in the brain – all sparked and spinning as one when the sound of the laugh hits my ears.

These are the sounds that feed my soul. Every second of everyday, they truly save me.

 

The Cold in the Sun

Is it just me?, life, Metaphors in Nature

The cold came back. Don’t speak to me, I’m sulking. I hide my face under a hood and pretend no one else exists. Or rather, I pretend that I don’t exist. Either way, I’m alone, and no one can see me, touch me, or hear my cries.

I know what they want of me. I’ve always known. But I can’t. I can’t become that. God knows I’ve tried, endlessly, hopelessly. Gave everything I had inside but it wasn’t enough. Each quiet day reminds me of how I’ll never fall into place. I’m an outcast, bound to being the blistering cold anywhere I go. It’s my curse. Are you cursed, too?

I manage to find the sun from time to time, only to be reminded of what I’ll never have. The cold lets me leave for a bit. It allows me to experience the light in its purest form – from above. The light not of this earth. So far, far away. Yet, powerful enough to reach my human eyes. True power. True light. Why can I see it, why must I see it? When I can’t…touch it…it’s so far. Yet so close. Agonizing. 

The cold will let me out for a day…to see it. Just to remind me what I could never be – who I’ll never be. That light, that brings much joy to others, to everyone on the planet. I’ll never be that. But the only reason I want to be that person, is because I know I can’t be that person. When I think about it, I’m fine with the cold. It’s all I’ve ever known. It’s a place of comfort where I’m free to be as dark and doomed as my heart feels it should be.

The cold. The sun. I am one. I crave the other. Does my sun exist? Or will I always be in the cold?

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A Walk in the Sun

life, Metaphors in Nature

I’m walking down the road at a relaxed pace. It’s a sunny day in spring. Everything is green. Plush, green, fresh. Like a new day after a night full of terrors. The winter is gone. Flowers bloom in every yard. Grass is being mowed continuously as the plants flourish. It smells so good, so full of life. Full of hope following the cold. I’ve been craving a day like this for months, so much that the light brings tears to my eyes.

And the sun – it’s blinding, it’s calming, and it’s warm. My skin soaks in every ray, seeking no shade. A slight breeze moves the leaves, but the day is otherwise silent. Or maybe I’ve just tuned everything else out – the cars and voices of the neighborhood, leaving the chirps of birds and swaying branches to create a song of nature in my mind.

Today is a good day, a day I see the sun without squinting. I feel no need to run and hide inside, in the shadows. I actually see the light and breathe with ease. Without pain. My filter of gray is absent today. Though it might return tomorrow, that will have to wait. In this moment, my eyes seek sunlight- pure, unaltered, genuine rays of sunshine. No gray. No shadows. If only for today, it was worth the wait. Worth suffering through the burning tears of agony that came on the coldest nights over the previous months. I always pushed through, because I knew another day of sun would eventually come.

And on the next day of gloom doom, I’ll think back to this day. I’ll remember what it was like to see the sun in her true purity. Solar strength to last through the blackest, coldest, gray. I love you, Sun. You save me. 

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