Demons – Friends or Foes?

Is it just me?, life, Poems

The demons are nothing if not persistent. They’re always with me…lurking in the background of shadows and forgotten regrets. Even in the most glorious of days, they never truly go away. 

Mixed feelings arise always. The demons have brought excruciating pain, so I want them to go away. Yet, the demons have always been around, there beside me when no other soul would walk along my chosen path.

Enemies…companions…is it possible to be both? Those demons are all I have ever known. From an age too young to know, they were there. They waited patiently for me to grow and be exposed to the darker side of the world around me.

The demons saw an opportunity to create a monster. They amplified the imperfect scenes of my childhood. They made those moments stick and seethe in my soul as I grew older. They planted the seed of hate watched it fester and flourish until I began to know no other emotion.

Then a sickness started to swirl deep in my bones. It started small. But the demons, they were patient and persistent. They knew this small illness would develop rapidly into a lifelong turmoil. An eternal war within my body.

They sat there, watching. Silent. Smiling, as my suffering expanded with each failure to stop the sickness.

They were proud. They lead me to destruction while watching nearby. Never too far away. Never letting me leave their line of sight.

They have haunted me every moment of my existence. Losing them…pushing them away…it’s almost the equivalent of severing a portion of my own soul. The demons are me. I am them. I created them. What purpose do they serve other than feeding an addiction I developed as a young girl?

I want to destroy them. How do I destroy them without destroying myself?

GEDSC DIGITAL CAMERA

The Sounds that Save My Soul

Is it just me?, life, Metaphors in Nature, Pets, Poems, stories, Wildlife

The laugh – that sweet, soft, soul stopping laugh that could melt even the hardest of hearts. When you see it coming and hear its tunes, you won’t be able to stop the smile from overtaking your expressions. No one – not the coldest, saddest, or cruelest of humans can resist the chuckle of the child.

The purr – a sound to let me know that he feels safe. That he’s happy in his forever home. A tiny motor running at full power. I put my ear to his ribs and listen. Warm, comforting, gentle and pleasant.

fullsizeoutput_db0

Collin

The birds – they chirp and sing in the morning sunlight. A chorus of vast species to wake the spirit from rest.  A steady melody, one after the other. Flying, chirping, soaring from tree to tree through the early morning breeze.

GEDSC DIGITAL CAMERA

Seagulls in Galveston

The howls – the pups are hungry and excited to see the first glimpse of a human face for the day. Genuine love. Genuine happiness. It radiates with their every sound. I want to leap with joy alongside them.

fullsizeoutput_dae

Ryder

The music – a song for sorrow, a ballad for love, guitars for greatness, bass for battles ahead. All moods, all challenges, covered in a three minute masterpiece of instruments and melody. They play in random order, each one causing feelings to stir in my heart.

And again, the laugh – always back to the laugh of the infant. It is without a doubt or debate the single most beautiful sound ever heard by a living soul. It meshes together every wonderful moment of audio into one single note. Every memory of happiness, everyday of excitement, each pleasure circuit activated in the brain – all sparked and spinning as one when the sound of the laugh hits my ears.

These are the sounds that feed my soul. Every second of everyday, they truly save me.