The demons are nothing if not persistent. They’re always with me…lurking in the background of shadows and forgotten regrets. Even in the most glorious of days, they never truly go away.
Mixed feelings arise always. The demons have brought excruciating pain, so I want them to go away. Yet, the demons have always been around, there beside me when no other soul would walk along my chosen path.
Enemies…companions…is it possible to be both? Those demons are all I have ever known. From an age too young to know, they were there. They waited patiently for me to grow and be exposed to the darker side of the world around me.
The demons saw an opportunity to create a monster. They amplified the imperfect scenes of my childhood. They made those moments stick and seethe in my soul as I grew older. They planted the seed of hate watched it fester and flourish until I began to know no other emotion.
Then a sickness started to swirl deep in my bones. It started small. But the demons, they were patient and persistent. They knew this small illness would develop rapidly into a lifelong turmoil. An eternal war within my body.
They sat there, watching. Silent. Smiling, as my suffering expanded with each failure to stop the sickness.
They were proud. They lead me to destruction while watching nearby. Never too far away. Never letting me leave their line of sight.
They have haunted me every moment of my existence. Losing them…pushing them away…it’s almost the equivalent of severing a portion of my own soul. The demons are me. I am them. I created them. What purpose do they serve other than feeding an addiction I developed as a young girl?
I want to destroy them. How do I destroy them without destroying myself?