How to Like Yourself More – Right Now

life

The person under the most scrutiny from our judgmental, harsh human brains tends to be – our own selves. I am my toughest, most persistent critic, and I’m sure many others can relate to this.

How could we ever be happy and content with an overly critical voice constantly screaming insults throughout the day? It is difficult, that’s for certain.

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What can we do about this critic from within? How can we silence it and create a new, more positive voice? Having a compassionate, more kind voice in your own head takes practice, but it’s very possible if you take the time to reshape your thoughts.

1 – Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend.

Sometimes the way we speak to ourselves is absolutely cruel and unnecessary. Think of how you talk to a friend when he/she is in need versus the way you speak to yourself in difficult times. The responses are likely completely on opposite sides of the spectrum.

Harsh words to yourself like, “You look ugly,” “You’re so stupid,” and “You should just give up,” are all too common. How often to do say this to a friend? Probably never.

If you find yourself being overly-critical of the way you look, your habits, your words, etc., take a minute to calm down and talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. Say things like, “You look fine,” “You’re just having a rough day,” and, “You can do this.”

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Would you personally hang out with a person who threw out degrading comments all day? If not, then you shouldn’t have to put up with it from yourself either.

Make a conscious effort to swap up that inner self talk and add in tons of tenderhearted statements.

2 – Talk to yourself like you would talk to a child or a pet.

Here I’m referring that embarrassing, high pitched, baby-like talk that you give your kids and animals. We all have our own personal pet/child language, but they all have the same underlying message of “I love you with all my heart.”

Go all in and spend five minutes in front of a mirror throwing out your most cheesy, childish compliments to yourself. “You’re so adorable, I love you, you are amazing and awesome, you’re so smart, I’m so glad you’re in my life!”

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You deserve as much love as the cute kitty above.

No holding back – it will feel terribly awkward and uncomfortable – but it will help you engrave more positive thoughts into your brain. And it will make you smile as well.

3 – Spend time with yourself.

Quality self-time is sure to open your eyes to the awesome person within. It’s great to be around others, but sometimes it’s necessary to hang out alone with your own thoughts.

This quiet time alone is often something most people avoid – because it can be uncomfortable at first. In today’s world, we’re surrounded by stimulation to silence our inner voices. Social media, texting, talking with others, working too much – all of these serve as distractions from our thoughts. It can be scary to plan time away from the loudness.

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Journal, take a long walk, go see a movie alone – the possibilities for a date with yourself are endless, and will not be as bad as you might think. Once you take the time to slow down and get to know who you really are, deep down, you will start to think, “Hey, I kind of like this person.”

You also might surprise yourself.

4 – Say and repeat affirmations, in a mirror, at least twice per day.

Affirmations are awkward – it’s the truth. But they do grow less and less awkward with time and practice. And after awhile – you’ll even find yourself speaking those corny affirmations inside your head each time you see your own reflection.

The first time I tried to speak a short list of affirmations in the mirror, I couldn’t. I stood there and stared at myself and started crying. I physically could not get the words to leave my throat. But I tried, everyday, morning and night. And then one day, one single affirmation came out. That’s all I managed that day, but it was a huge milestone for me.

Work at it and create your own personal list of affirmations based on what your insecurities and sensitive spots are. Read that list out loud and in front of your reflection everyday and you will start to believe the words on the list.

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Here are some of my personal affirmations as an example:

I’m a good person
I am enough
I am good enough
I’m proud of myself
I love my body
My body is strong
I am smart
I am creative
I am kind
My smile can make others smile
I love who I am
I am unique


If you are tired of talking to yourself with hatred and condemnation, please give the items in this post a try. Give it time, and your self talk will grow positive and uplifting.

Thank you for reading this post and please know that you deserve to be treated with kindness from everyone – especially yourself.

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Have an amazing day!

Carly Twelve

Life Lessons from Super Mario Bros.

life

Through the years I’m sure we’ve each had the pleasure of playing some version of Nintendo’s Super Mario Bros. Originally released in 1985, this game is based on a plumber trying to save a princess from an evil creature. The plumber travels through unique worlds, each with odd obstacles, all to find and face the final monster holding the princess captive.

(Even if you are an adult, I would suggest playing this game if you’ve never had the luxury ;))

Whatever the main goal of the game may be, there are a couple of deeper meanings that can be pulled from the missions in Super Mario Bros. 

Here’s what can be learned from playing this game:

[Disclaimer: this posts includes my own opinions. None of this is stated directly in this video game. The points here are just what I, myself, concluded from the game as a whole. I am not part of Nintendo, I own no rights, etc. Just a fan.]

1 – No matter where you come from, you can be a hero.

Mario and Luigi are plumbers. They’re not royalty or knights of the kingdom, or any other typical heroic figure.

Yet, regardless of social status and career placement, these brothers take initiative to save this damsel in distress.

Our “status” in life is irrelevant. We are all capable of the most amazing accomplishments. Whether it’s saving a princess or some other (more modern) life mission, our places in society have nothing to do with our heroic ventures.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a plumber, a dentist, an accountant, or a waitress – heroism is much deeper than whatever career label society has planted on your forehead.

2 – Money is instrumental, but never the goal. 

Throughout playing the game, money (or finding coins) helps you stay alive long enough to complete your mission. In picking up coins, you’re able to earn more lives and sometimes buy enhancements to help you better defeat the enemy.

Though it’s helpful, money is never the mission itself. The point of the game is to save the princess. If you find yourself sidetracked, only searching for coins, you’ll never advance enough to actually make the final rescue. You’ll only be wondering around, never doing what you were designed to do.

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This relates to our real, human lives perfectly. Our mission in life should never be to “make money.” Yes, money helps take care of family, buy fun things, and pay the bills. But financial gain should only ever be seen as an instrument or tool in advancing our missions in life.

If money is the goal, happiness will never come.


So that’s two important life lessons that can be taken from this fun, adventurous little video game.

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Again, if you’ve never played Super Mario Bros., you’re really missing out. 😀

Thank you for reading this post and I hope you have an amazing day.

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Never stop chasing your princess!

Carly Twelve

Quotes from “Jane Eyre” by Charolette Bronte

Books

Here is the PDF of all the quotes from Jane Eyre that stuck out to me. Many of them I used in my five part post about what this novel taught me about life. This PDF is quotes only – no insights, no comments, just straight quotes from the book.

Thanks for stopping by!

Jane Eyre Quotes

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Carly Twelve

Invaluable Life Advice from Jane Eyre (Part Five)

Books

This is the fifth and final post providing a collection of quotes from Jane Eyre. My hope is to read between the lines and spread the wisdom in these pages crafted by Charolette Brontë in 1847.

Here are the other four parts in case you missed them:

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

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1 – Never let pride stand in the way of doing what’s right. 

“I was not heroic enough to purchase liberty at the price of caste.” Narrator (Chapter 3)

Doing the right thing is often difficult because it can come with backlash and judgement from those around us. However, it’s important to remember that facing moments of backlash is nothing compared to the regret that comes with neglecting to do the right thing.

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2 – You are strong enough to handle what the world has dealt you. 

“Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could not avoid it. It is weak and silly to say you cannot bear what it is your fate to be required to bear.” Helen Burns (Chapter 6)

“Why was I always suffering, always brow-beaten, always accused, forever condemned? Why could I never please? Why was it useless to try to win anyone’s favor?” Narrator (Chapter 2)

When going through hard times, it can often feel as if the universe is out to get us. Always remember that you are strong enough to face whatever is thrown your way.

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3 – Do not let day to day, petty issues infect your mood.  

“I can so clearly distinguish between the criminal and his crime; I can so sincerely forgive the first while I abhor the last; with this creed, revenge never worries my heart, degradation never too deeply disgusts me, injustice never crushes me too low. I live in calm, looking to the end.” Helen Burns (Chapter 6)

Looking at the big picture in life helps to reduce the significance of the daily stressors that can seem life altering in the moment. Always remember the most important things in life and don’t let anything less get you down.

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4 – Do not let fear get in the way of your goals and dreams. 

“The fear of failure in these points harassed me worse than the physical hardships of my lot; those these were no trifles.” Narrator (Chapter 7)

“It is a very strange sensation to inexperienced youth to feel itself quite alone in the world; cut adrift from every connection, uncertain whether the port to which it is bound can be reached, and prevented by many impediments from returning to that it has quitted. The charm of adventure sweetens that sensation, the glow of pride warms it; but then the throb of fear disturbs it;” Narrator (Chapter 11)

Fear is often the biggest obstacle in the path of reaching our dreams. “What if I fail?” “Will my friends laugh at me?” “Will I be taken seriously?” “Am I good enough?”

Fear is understandable and everyone faces it at some point in life. Yet that feeling of being afraid to fail does not mean you shouldn’t pursue your goals. On the other hand, it probably means you need to go for it. Don’t let fear hold you back, just as Jane continues on her journey is this novel even though she is scared to venture out.

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5 – Don’t try to be like everyone else – humans are flawed.

“Such is the imperfect nature of man – such spots are there on the disk of the clearest planet; and eyes like Miss Scatcherd’s can only see those minute defects, and are blind to the full brightness of the orb.” Narrator (Chapter 7)

“Most things free-born will submit to anything for a salary;” Mr. Rochester (Chapter 14)

The goals others have, the items they crave, and the lifestyle they dream of are all irrelevant. What matters is what you want, what your goals are, and how you strive to reach those goals. Advice from others is great, but you should always remember that everyone else has a different dream in mind. One person’s path to success with look absolutely different than another.

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6 – The heart’s feelings are not easily changed.

“I could not unlove him now, merely because I found that he had ceased to notice me – because I might pass hours in his presence, and he would never once turn his eyes in my direction – because I saw all his attentions appropriated by a great lady, who scorned to touch me with the hem of her robes as she passed – who, if ever her dark and imperious eye fell on me by chance, would withdraw it instantly…” Narrator (Chapter 18)

“There was nothing to cool or banish love in these circumstances, though much to create despair.” Narrator (Chapter 18)

“Blasphemy against nature! Every good, true, vigorous feeling I have, gathers impulsively round him. I know I must conceal my sentiments; I must smother hope; I must remember that he cannot care much for me.” Narrator (Chapter 17)

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When heartbroken or craving someone intensely, feeling angry at yourself is never a good response. The heart is going to want people and things that are not good for you, not right for you, or completely out of your reach. Don’t let yourself be mad at your heart for wanting things it shouldn’t. It’s natural to feel this way, so talk about it, write about it, discuss it with a friend, and grow from it.

Anger will never force your heart to change its desires.

7 – Words are much more painful than “sticks and stones.”

“Better tire my limbs than strain my heart…” Jane to herself (Chapter 25)

“And with that answer, he left me. I would much rather he had knocked me down.” Narrator (Chapter 34)

“My rest might have been blissful enough, only a sadheart broke it.” Narrator (Chapter 28)

“I so dreaded a reply that would crush me with despair. To prolong doubt was to prolong hope.” Narrator (Chapter 36)

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Words can cut deep and wound the soul. We all have scars on our hearts from the harsh words others have spoken. Always be careful what you say to others because a physical wound will heal, but a wound to the mind can last a lifetime.

8 – The mind holds the most beauty.

“Your mind is treasure, and if it were broken it would be my treasure still…” Mr. Rochester to Jane (Chapter 27)

“My very soul demands you…” Mr. Rochester (Chapter 37)

“…all the sunshine I can feel is in her presence.” Mr. Rochester (Chapter 37)

“I have worn it since the day I lost my only treasure…” Mr. Rochester on his bronze scrag (Chapter 37)

“…this obvious absence of passion in his sentiments toward her, that my ever-torturing pain arose.” Narrator (Chapter 18)

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Society is quick to value beauty as a result of the way people look. But the true beauty is found in the soul or the mind; the way a person treats others, the intelligence he/she holds, the quirks that are apparent, the music that she listens to when she’s sad – all of this is what leads to real beauty.

Instead of trying to look more appealing on the outside, we should strive to better our minds because that’s where the true value lies.

9 – Learn from those you admire.  

“…she was qualified to give those who enjoyed the privilege of her converse a taste of far higher things.” Narrator (Chapter 9)

“…she was smart in all she did, and had a remarkable knack of narrative…” Narrator (Chapter 4)

“What a smile! I remember it now, and I know that it was the effluence of fine intellect, of true courage…” Narrator on Helen Burns (Chapter 7)

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When that feeling of deep admiration hits, it must have some reasoning behind it. Why do you admire certain people and not others? Take the time to evaluate the feelings and learn from those you hold in high regards. Though these people are only human, they may possess qualities you wish to gain yourself. We typically learn best from others.

10 – Never lose hope. 

“…I believed in the existence of other and more vivid kinds of goodness, and what I believed in I wished to behold.” Narrator (Chapter 12)

The world can be a terrible place sometimes, but we can’t let the darkness overtake our hopes of finding happiness. No matter what happens, don’t lose your faith in the world and its people. Goodness does exist if only we can learn to look past the dark.

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Thank you for reading this post. I appreciate it and would love to hear comments about what others see in this amazing novel.

Carly Twelve

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This Will Make You See the Good in Difficult People

life

Everyday, all around the world difficult people find their way into conversations, debates, and events. When out and about, it’s highly likely you’ll encounter one of these irritating, demanding humans. It’s not pleasant.

But here’s the thing – every single one of us has been guilty of this difficult behavior at some point in our lives. Does that behavior make us terrible people? No. Of course not.

Deep down, we all have goodness within our souls. Even the most grumpy, rude person has some good inside. Be patient, and take the time to try this stuff out – and you just might view the difficult person in a new, positive light.

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1 – Consider the possibility that he/she could just be having a rough day. 

Think back to your worst day ever – maybe it involved car problems, an intense breakup, or a series of small misfortunes that added up throughout the day and lead to insanity. Whatever happened on your worst day – I’m betting you were not the most pleasant person to deal with in those unfortunate 24 hours.

How would you feel if the version of yourself on your worst day ever was the lasting image other people had of you? No go backs, no quick changing of opinions – just stressed out, difficult you as the only you people around you remember.

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It’s not fair, is it? If we don’t want to be judged on our worst days, we shouldn’t judge others on their worst days, either. Give difficult people the benefit of the doubt. Life can be challenging, so maybe the difficult behavior is rooted in a difficult situation.

Next time someone gives you trouble, jump to the conclusion that he/she is just having a rough day.

2 – Picture all the things he/she could be facing – sickness, financial issues, relationship problems, etc.

This ties in with the first point and takes it to the next level of consideration. Sometimes it helps to make up a bizarre story to explain the irritating behavior of others.

We never know what someone is going through, and in most cases at work or out in public, we’re not going to find out. And that’s totally okay. But it’s important not to just assume that the person has a terrible personality. Think about what could have happened earlier in that person’s day – he could have wrecked his car and had to walk to a gas station three miles away, along the way losing his wallet and getting bitten by a rattlesnake.

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We may never know the issues that others face, but if we consider that they may be having hard times in their personal lives, we can skip the unfair assumptions.

Negative behavior usually is the result of unfortunate experiences. Take this into account when judging human behavior.

3 – Imagine him/her as a little toddler.

At some point in life, we were all innocent, little kids. Even the most obnoxious human was once an adorable child. Picture the difficult person in front of you as toddler, just learning to dance – smiling, laughing…innocent.

Somewhere inside of each of us, that little innocent human still remains. Even if it’s buried deep, keep picturing the young versions of the people around you. It will open your eyes to the goodness deep down.

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4 – Remember every moment of goodness you’ve seen from him/her.

There’s bound to be a time – no matter how irritable he/she generally makes you – when this difficult person has shown a glimpse of his/her good side. Maybe it was a faint smile, a kind word, or a moment of vulnerability. As tiny and simple as this moment may have seemed – never forget it. Hold it close and play it over and over again whenever this person returns to the rougher side of himself/herself.

5 – Notice what topics make him/her light up.

Grandkids, pets, hobbies, siblings – these are all potential topics that can turn someone’s mood from distant to personable. It will defiantly take some digging and hard conversation work, but most people have soft spots that seem to bring out their good sides.

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Take note of these soft spots and expand on them each time you talk to these people. It takes time, but if you continue to touch on these positive topics, each encounter with the difficult person will grow less and less dreadful.

6 – Note his/her insecurities.

There is nothing that makes someone as unpleasant as when he/she is drowning in those pesky insecurities. We all have them and they’re all unique to each person.

Some people grow completely detached and others take frustrations out on the world. Whatever the method of defense is, always take a minute to acknowledge it to yourself (both for your own issues and others you must face).

Insecurities are unfortunate, yet they can bring us together. Most of us can relate to body image insecurities, financial insecurities, and career insecurities. Let’s change our responses from defensive to connective.

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Next time you face someone obviously upset over a personal insecurity, take a minute to relate and say, “Hey, I understand. I feel that way, too.” And watch the defensive monster turn into a normal human being.


Learning to see the good in others can change your outlook on the world. As with most things, it takes time and effort. You must try. And it’s worth it. Not only will you learn the stories of others around you, you will start to see the good in your own self.

Thank you so much for reading this post. Please comment below if you’ve ever had an enlightening experience with a person you thought was terrible – and he/she turned out to be not-so-bad.

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Have a great day, and look for the good in others.

Carly Twelve

Being Content Does Not Mean You Are “Settling”

life

When I discuss being content in life, it could be seen as I’m telling everyone to “settle” in life. Settling for something is different than being content.

To settle is to give up, to be content is to move on. 

Being content with your life means that you’re not stressing over wanting more – a better job, higher salary, nicer home, etc. It’s saying, “Hey, I have everything I need to be able to live.”

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Of course, striving to improve your surroundings is always a plus. But being content about where you are now means you aren’t putting your happiness on hold for “better days.”

We all have the power to be happy right now, no matter where we are in life. Happiness comes from within. So instead of saying, “I’ll be happy when I graduate college,” “I’ll be happy when I move out of this town,” or “I’ll be happy when I lose 40 lbs,” tell yourself that you are happy now.

Life is too short to put happiness on hold for “better days.” Enjoy where your are in life, every step of the way. It’s all part of your awesome, personal storybook.

Settling is a pity party, contentment is having an open mind.

When someone settles, typically he/she is telling his/herself that nothing better exists for the life he/she lives. “This is it,” is the mindset. Poor me. 

When you are content with life, your mind is open to more opportunities. It’s hopeful of the future because no matter what happens, you know you’ll be happy within. You’ll be confident in trying new things and taking advantage of every moment in life because regardless of the outcome, your happiness will remain.

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Settling leaves you always wanting more, contentment will help you see more of what really matters.

Take a minute everyday to tell yourself that you are happy. You’re good with life and where you currently find yourself.

When you make an agreement with yourself to be content, right now, your eyes will open up to the world around. You’ll see more of what truly matters and what you cherish most.

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When you tell yourself, “I’m settling,” you’ll push aside the most important things in life to dream and regret the job you’ll never have, the body you’ll never get back, etc. You’ll find yourself bitter of what “could have been.” And in return, you’ll push away those you love because your internal happiness has been sacrificed to a list of “should haves.”

Being content is seeing the beauty around, regardless of if it’s a fantasy life or a normal, everyday scenario. How you feel inside is how you’ll see the world.

Settling is negative, contentment is positive. 

This is a simple, straightforward concept.

Say, “I’m settling,” and you’ll be bitter.

Say, “I’m content,” and you’ll be at peace.


I hope my rambling here has made some sense. I know the world could be much more generous if each of us makes the decision to be content – losing the greed, the anger, the frustration, and the regret.

For extra aid in living a content life, download the guide here:

The Guide to Contentment

Thank you for reading this post. Make the choice to be happy, because you do have the power.

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Invaluable Life Advice from “Jane Eyre” (Part Two)

Books

Charolette Brontë’s Jane Eyre is a masterpiece full of amazing life lessons. Here is the second collection of quotes from this novel that provide invaluable advice for anyone willing to read the lines and listen.

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If you missed Part One, check it out.

1 – Life is too short to stress.

“Why, then, should we ever sink overwhelmed with distress, when life is so soon over, and death is so certain an entrance to happiness – to glory?” Helen Burns (Chapter 8)

This quote is coming from a child often scorned for little reason and soon to die from a terminal illness. She knows her life is especially short and sees each day as a special gift no matter what unfortunate things happen. For those of us with many years left, we really need to learn to appreciate each day as a chance to live. Gratefulness goes a long way in de-stressing the modern life.

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2 – Beauty is much deeper than outward appearance. 

“..a beauty neither of fine color, nor long eyelash, nor pencilled brow, but of meaning, of movement, of radiance. Then her soul sat on her lips, and language flowed, from what source I cannot tell.” Narrator (Chapter 8)

“…he seems to have more length of limb than vivacity of blood or vigor of brain.” Narrator (Chapter 17)

“But my curiosity will be past its appetite; it craves food now.” Mr. Rochester (Chapter 17)

“She was very showy, but she was not genuine. She had a fine person, many brilliant attainments; but her mind was poor, her heart barren by nature…” Narrator (Chapter 18)

“She was not good, she was not original…She advocated a high tone of sentiment; but she did not know the sensations of sympathy and pity.” Narrator (Chapter 18)

It might sound all too cliché to say that attractiveness should be based on a person’s personality rather than his or her level of beauty. In reading Jane Eyre, we see that this issue of personality over appearance is a timeless debate.

In the novel and in real life, most happy couples’ relationships go much deeper than having pretty faces. Just because a person is gorgeous with a perfect body does not mean that he or she is a good person deserving of your eternal love. We must learn to look deeper into people’s souls when choosing friends and significant others.

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3 – Make the most out of life.

“…her spirit seemed hastening to live within a very brief span as much as many live during a protracted existence.” Narrator (Chapter 8)

This quote, again, is regarding a child living an extremely arduous life. Yet, Miss Helen Burns smiles through her pain and still manages to enjoy what little joys life has given her. If a child like this can learn to make the most of what she’s been given, than so can we.

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4 – Do more of what makes you happy. 

“I feasted, instead, on the spectacle of ideal drawings which I saw in the dark; all the work of my own hands. “ Narrator (Chapter 8)

We should all strive to do more of the things that make us forget to eat. Those are the activities that will bring us true happiness and lead us to enjoy our mundane lives more and more each day. Search to find a passion and never stop pursuing what you love.

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5 – Who you are with is more important than what you have.

“Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.” Narrator quoting Solomon (Chapter 8)

The people we are with whether it’s at home, on vacation, at work, or suffering on the side of the street can make or break the entire experience we’re living. We have all probably been on miserable vacations where we reside in a beautiful place yet spend the entire time on edge because we are with negative people who make us grumpy or anxious.

On the other hand, we have all likely experienced a nice time at work occasionally with coworkers or clients who make us laugh though we are in the midst of mundane labor.

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Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, the experience is typically only as good as the people along for the ride with you.

6 – There is much to see in this world and yearning to experience all things in life is normal.

“I remembered that the real world was wide, and that a varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and excitements, awaited those who had courage to go forth into its expanse to seek real knowledge of life amid its perils.” Narrator (Chapter 10)

“…the restlessness was in my nature; it agitated me to pain sometimes.” Narrator (Chapter 12)

“It is vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquillity; they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it.” Narrator (Chapter 12)

“It is thoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them; if they seek to do more or learn more than custom has pronounced necessary for their sex.” Narrator on Women (Chapter 12)

“To pass its threshold was to return to stagnation…” Narrator on Thornfield (Chapter 12)

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Nowadays we can look at pictures of far away places on the internet, but there’s still nothing better than going to those places and experiencing them for ourselves. It’s perfectly normal to want some adventure and when the itch to travel comes, nothing will ease the ache other than buying a ticket and heading out for a new adventure.

7 – Like it or not, some people just are the way they are and there’s nothing that can be done about it. 

“Partly because it is his nature – and we can none of us help our nature; and partly, he has painful thoughts, no doubt, to harass him, and make his spirits unequal.” Mrs. Fairfax (Chapter 13)

“But unimpressionable natures are not so soon softened, nor are natural antipathies so readily eradicated…” Narrator (Chapter 21)

Sometimes it’s hard to deal with people that are difficult or that seem to always disagree. The best thing to do is understand that he or she is the way he or she is. Accept this fact, don’t try to argue with him/her, and move on. You will be at peace.

8 – Never blame yourself for the actions of others.

“His changes of mood did not offend me, because I saw that I had nothing to do with their alteration; the ebb and flow depended on causes quite disconnected with me.” Narrator (Chapter 14)

If someone is rude to you without cause or reason, never blame yourself. We have the power to control our own actions, but never the power to affect the way others around us act. It’s hard to let go of trying to cheer someone up or to make a person like us when they are seemingly bothered by our presence, yet we can’t let these actions of others bring us down or lead to distress.

9 – Do not trouble yourself with things out of your control.

“…but where is the use of thinking of it, hampered, burdened, cursed as I am?” Mr. Rochester (Chapter 14)

The world is not always great, and terrible things often occur across all walks of life. A good way to keep the floods out of our own personal minds is to accept that many things are far beyond our control. If something can be done about a rough situation, that’s great. Go out and take of it. But if not, if there’s absolutely nothing you can do to improve the situation, move on. Try to make the most of what you can change and don’t worry about the rest.

10 – Expectations only bring disappointment. 

“…expectation has been so long baffled that it is grown impatient.” Jane on wanting to see Mr. Rochester badly.(Chapter 16)

“I was actually permitting myself to experience a sickening sense of disappointment…” Narrator (Chapter 17)

“I began to cherish hopes I had no right to conceive…” Narrator (Chapter 22)

“I feared – or should I say hoped? – the allusion to me would make Mr. Rochester glance my way; and I involuntarily shrunk further into the shade; but he never turned his eyes.” Narrator (Chapter 17)

Live life everyday with a fresh mind. Never play scenes in your head of how you’d like things to go or fantasize of how life will be if you ever win the lottery when most of us are never even going to play the lottery. All this does is create high expectations of life that are unrealistic and damaging. This destroys our ability to be grateful for what life has given us.

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If you haven’t read Jane Eyre yet, I strongly encourage you to do so. These quotes above and those in Part One are the lines that stuck out to me the most. The best way to learn is to pick up the novel yourself and fill your brain with its wisdom.

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Thank you for reading this post. ^_^

Carly Twelve

Thank You for Existing

life

Awhile ago I realized that the friends, pets, and family I felt I loved, truly, deep down into my soul – I loved for no specific reasons at all. I loved them just because they simply existed. It wasn’t love because they looked a certain way, acted a certain way, or had anything in common with me. It was love simply because they were present and warmed my soul.

Many of us feel that we have to earn our love and value from those we seek it from. But true love doesn’t really rely on how we are – is exists because we are. Each and every individual on this planet deserves love and kindness just for existing – without having to prove him/herself, without having to start a career, and without having to look a certain way.

I would like to spread this message and personally say, “Thank you for existing,” to each and every person on this planet. For the world we live in, it’s hard to feel this way because there are so many lies that tell us all we must act and be a specific type of person in order to be happy and discover love.

So if you are reading this, thank you so much for existing in this world. And keep existing for as long as life allows you. You deserve to be happy and you deserve love as you are right now.

Thank you for reading, and please take the time to tell those you love, “Thank you for existing.”

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Invaluable Life Advice From “Jane Eyre” (Part One)

Books

In 1847, Charolette Brontë graced us with the now classic novel, Jane Eyre. Through reading this compelling story, numerous lines and paragraphs stand out for different reasons.  Whether it’s about love, loneliness, or a lost kid forced to live with an evil aunt, the words in Jane Eyre are a true gift to the world.

Advice, whether sought out or not, is always valuable. Hundreds of self-help books exist in book stores and online today, but reading this novel from the nineteenth century can provide just as much wisdom.

Here are ten life lessons/ pieces of advice from Jane Eyre: 

1 – If you don’t have anything nice to say…don’t say anything at all. And always, think before you speak.

“Be seated somewhere; and until you can speak pleasantly, remain silent.” Mrs. Reed (Chapter 1)

“…one should consider all before pronouncing an opinion as to its nature.” Jane Eyre (Chapter 13)

“Then no more need be said; change the subject.” Blanche (Chapter 17)

We live in a very loud society where most people are quick to shout their views to the world. It can help to take a step back and listen to these old words of wisdom, especially before spewing out any negativity around others.

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2 – Always respect your host and the home you’re living in.

“…you should try to be useful and pleasant, then perhaps you would have a home here; but if you become passionate and rude, missus will send you away, I am sure.” Bessie (Chapter 2)

Obviously little Jane Eyre wasn’t treated well in the home she lived in, and she didn’t deserve the harsh sessions of scorn from her aunt. But the point here is to hold respect for those taking care of you. Though those people may not be perfect and will give you a hard time every now and then, it’s important to acknowledge and uphold the rules put in place whether it’s living with your parents or dealing with a difficult boss. We should speak up for ourselves, yes, though with regards to those who are providing for us.

3 – Hardships will make sense later in life.

“Yet in what darkness, what dense ignorance, was the mental battle fought! I could not answer the ceaseless inward question – why I thus suffered; now, at the distance of – I will not say how many years, I see it clearly.” Narrator (Chapter 2)

We all go through dark periods in life and in different stages – childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, and so on. In the moments of pain it is difficult, if not impossible, to see what good could ever come from our suffering. Often later in life, when looking back on our worst days, we can take an objective perspective and see the lessons learned and skills earned during those rough times.

4 – People should not be judged by their income and/or residential status.

“Poverty looks grim to grown people; still more so to children: they have not much idea of industrious, working, respectable poverty; they think of the world only as connected with ragged clothes, scanty food, fireless grates, rude manners, and debasing vices; poverty for me was synonymous with degradation.” Narrator (Chapter 3)

“Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilized by education…” Narrator (Chapter 27)

“…these coarsely-clad little peasants are of flesh and blood as good as the scions of gentlest genealogy, and that the germs of native excellence, refinement, intelligence, kind felling, are as likely to exist in their hearts as in those of the best-born.” Narrator (Chapter 31)

Just because a person is homeless or earns a low income does not mean he/she is lazy, unintelligent, or a drug addict. We are all equal in the big picture of the universe whether you are a millionaire or living in a tent. It’s unfair and foolish to judge people by how they choose to live their lives if we’ve never even held a conversation with them.

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5 – Happy moments do exist in the darkest of lives.

“Even for me life had its gleams of sunshine.” Narrator (Chapter 4)

Life has its bleak and bland days mixed along with the sorrow and painful hours. Sometimes it can seem as if the world is falling downhill and your life is plummeting down to the depths. No matter how bad things get, look for something – anything – that can bring even a small moment of joy to the dark days.

6 – Leave the past behind.

“Gateshead and my past life seemed floated away to an immeasurable distance; the present was vague and strange, and of the future I could form no conjecture.” Narrator (Chapter 5)

Everyday is a new day and provides more chances to move forward with life. The past can weigh us down, especially the more that we dwell on it. It helps to focus on the present and hope for the best future for ourselves.

7 – Being alone isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

“…without a companion, yet not feeling lonely…” Narrator (Chapter 6)

“…but my heart and mind would be free, I should still have my unblighted self to turn to; my natural unenslaved feelings with which to communicate in moments of loneliness.” Narrator (Chapter 34)

“As yet, I had spoken to no one, nor did anybody seem to take notice of me. I stood lonely enough; but to that feeling of isolation I was accustomed; it did not oppress me much.” Narrator (Chapter 5)

Being alone often has negative connotations attached to it. A lot of people are terrified of this state. Yet, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing and spending time alone can really be an enlightening experience.

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8 – Holding onto grudges will only trouble the mind.

“No ill usage so brands its record on my feelings. Would you not be happier if you tried to forget her severity, together with the passionate emotions it excited? Life appears to me too short to be spend in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.” Helen Burns (Chapter 6)

Holding onto a grudge often is hard to let go of because we feel it will let the person who has done wrong to us off the hook – like we’d be giving that person a “get out of jail free” card. However, letting go of grudges doesn’t free that wrong person, it frees you. It does absolutely no good to sulk in anger or frustration at a person’s actions outside of your control. Let go and forgive those who have wronged you, and be free to move on with your life.

9 – Your opinion of yourself is the most important.

“If all the world hated you and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends.” Helen Burns (Chapter 7)

“…a wanderer’s repose or a sinner’s reformation should never depend on a fellow-creature.” Jane Eyre (Chapter 20)

“I still felt as a wanderer on the face of the earth: but I experienced firmer trust in myself and my own powers, and less withering dread of oppression. The gaping wound of my wrongs, too, was now quite healed, and the flame of resentment extinguished.” Narrator (Chapter 21)

I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained, I am, the more I will respect myself.” Jane to herself (Chapter 27)

No matter who you are, what you do, or where you are headed, there will always be someone out there who is not fond of you and your lifestyle. At the end of the day, that those critical people don’t really matter. The only person that can give you value and worth is you. Only you.

10 – Everyone deserves a second chance.

“We shall think you what you prove yourself to be, my child.” Miss Temple (Chapter 8)

Wherever someone came from, whatever rumors may exist, a person should be allowed a fresh start when moving to a new location and group of people. It’s not fair to judge based on past transgressions, former acquaintances, or trivial history. The best way to give someone a fair chance is to personally get to know him/her as he/she is now, yourself, with a clean slate for both parties.

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Jane Eyre by Charolette Brontë is a must read for everyone. Not only does it give us an amazing story of hardship, perseverance, and triumph, it also provides amazing life lessons.

Thank you for reading this post. ^_^

Carly Twelve

This is REALLY Why You Should Exercise

life

Everywhere we look today, there’s a new gimmick or program out geared toward losing weight. A long time ago, all of this stopped having anything to do with health and started focusing entirely on weight loss and how to gain a “perfect body.”

We’ve grown so overly obsessed with being extra think, having six pack abs, or lowing our body fat percentage down to almost 0% that we’ve completely forgotten and neglected our health (both physically and psychologically).

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Though it aches me to see diet program commercials and new nonsensical exercise equipment being advertised everywhere, I completely love exercise and what it can do for people. I have a Kinesiology B.S., and I’ve worked in the exercise field for over two years.

If we’re ever going to improve our health overall as a nation, we first need to separate exercise from this weight loss crazed society. Focusing on weight loss to better your health is like eating a loaf of bread to hydrate yourself. It’s just completely futile and will get you nowhere.

So what should you focus on when trying to improve your quality of life through exercise?

1 – The Heart. 

It’s the beat of the body and one of the most vital organs for creatures of all kinds. It’s the heart, and it pumps blood all throughout your body dozens of times each minute. Without a proper heart function, your ability to complete day to day tasks – even live in general – significantly decrease.

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Cardiovascular disease is the number one killer of the modern American adult. That means that exercising and strengthening this organ is crucial.

So next time you head out to the gym or the park for a nice walk outside, think about how you are strengthening this awesome organ every step of the way.

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2 – The Stamina and Endurance.

Have you ever, or have you seen someone struggling while walking through the mall? Or the zoo? Or even struggling just from the car to the entrance of a store? It’s a life-inhibiting characteristic of too many humans these days – the lack of stamina.

Focus on increasing endurance capabilities during exercise. Tell yourself, “Next time I go on vacation, I won’t have to take as many rest breaks.” Or, “This summer when my grandkids visit, I will be able to keep up with them and spend more time with them.”

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With a more functional body, conditioned to physical stress, you will have more ability to do what you love – whether that’s water skiing, chasing your dog around, creating a lush garden, etc.

Stamina and endurance – focus on these benefits.

3 – The mental/psychological benefits. 

Exercise is proven to lower stress levels and to help the human body expend stress hormones it accumulates throughout the busy days.

Stress is a killer. It can ruin your days by keeping you miserable and it can physically harm your body as it raises blood pressure.

The best activity you can do for yourself after a stressful day at work is to go out and exercise. It doesn’t matter what you do or where you go – the most important thing is that you do it. Take a walk, ride a bike, do jumping jacks for twenty minutes while watching your favorite television show – it doesn’t matter. Just take time for yourself and get that heart pumping.

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Exercise can also improve your mood in general. Depression is a rising concern for most people. It’s debilitating and can make for an unhappy existence. Taking half an hour each day can significantly turn a negative thought process into having a more positive view of life.


Regardless of what you’ve believed about exercise and what it’s good for, teach yourself to focus on these three big factors listed above. Because improvements in these three areas are going to give you a better life – and that’s a promise.

“Perfecting appearance” is not a goal that is attainable. And it’s subjective. But improving quality of life through exercise – that’s an awesome goal that anyone of any size, age, or gender can accomplish.

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Thank you for reading this post and I hope you take these messages to heart. Focus on improving your life experiences, and you’ll not be disappointed.

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Have an amazing day!

Carly Twelve

This is Why “Why So Serious?” Should be Your Life Motto

life

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In 2008, The Dark Knight’s Joker character, played by Heath Ledger, stole the show. The Joker is obviously a villain as he robs banks and commits mass murder, but his attitude and laughter draw in the audience and make viewers fall in love with the bad guy. Now, to be clear, I’m not defending his actions or trying to convince anyone to be like this guy. His evil, pure evil.

However, there is something we can learn from this madman. The character’s famous saying, “Why so serious?” might be a little creepy, but it should actually be everyone’s life motto. Here’s why:

1 – Life is too short to be serious all the time.

Think about what you were doing a year ago. Doesn’t it seem insane that it’s already been a year? Think about when you first began your job. Has a decade already passed in the blink of an eye? Think about your kids. They were just little newborns and now they’re graduating high school.

Our time is precious, and therefore shouldn’t be wasted on negative moods. So if you find yourself feeling intensely scowling all the time, take a moment to ask yourself, “Why so serious?” Think about it. What is so crucial that it’s infecting your valuable moments  with anger and frustration?

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2 – You’ll laugh at petty little problems.

Everyday people all over the world face serious issues. Unfortunately, more often, what destroys our happiness are the little daily stressors that add up over time. Minor issues like getting stuck behind a car going 20 mph under the speed limit, the grocery store being out of your favorite bread, or stepping on a piece of gum are what make people aggressive and impatient all the time.

It’s a fast paced world and if we don’t get our way, we’re quick to let our anger rise, along with our blood pressure and stress hormones.

Next time you’re stuck in a long fast food line, don’t get angry. Don’t allow your impatience to control your mood. Think to yourself, “Why so serious?” And laugh at all the unfortunate people growing angry around you. It’s their loss, and you’ll be the one relaxing and enjoying your day.

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3 – You will smile through it all.

No matter what’s going on in the day, just say, “Why so serious?” And smile through the pain.

If you find yourself getting yelled at by a customer, a coworker, or even a friend, throw a huge, creepy smile on your face. Ask that person yelling, “Why so serious?”

On a serious note, the action of smiling can actually improve your mental mood. If one of those difficult moments hits you hard, hide your face and smile for a minute. It just might make you feel better.

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4 – You will be more likely to try new things.

The biggest foe for jumping into something new is fear. We fear to fail, we fear being embarrassed, and we fear the unknown in general. Most of us are caught up in a normal routine of repeating the same habits and activities day in and day out.

It’s good to try new things, and also a little scary. Repeat the phrase, “Why so serious?” Don’t think about all that could go wrong, because it’s not that serious anyway, right?

Just have fun, try something new, and don’t be too serious about it.

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5 – This motto will help make light of a tough situation.

Last but not least, adopting The Joker’s motto can help you see the positives in a sucky situation.

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It’s not always easy, but typically some good can come from any unfortunate event.  To see the good, you must first  slow the natural anger and frustration. Take some deep breaths and view the situation as a whole. And then, of course, ask yourself, “Why so serious?”

This just might turn your problem into a learning experience. All you need to do is take a moment to cease the negative emotions and think about the situation in depth.


The world could be a better place if we all stopped taking everything so seriously. Life is too short, so laugh at the pettiness, smile through the pain, try new things, and see the good in your life. Give this motto a try and see how it changes your everyday attitude.

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Thank you ever so much for reading this post. 🙂

Carly Twelve