Head in the Clouds

Is it just me?, life, Metaphors in Nature, This is Why I Don't Have Friends

Hours upon hours of fresh, local and international news plays constantly on television and radio everyday. Newspapers and magazines overload us with current affairs and celebrity life events. 

For many people, keeping up with the latest news across the globe is a daily duty. Watch some news channels with morning coffee, read the newspaper at lunch, pick up a magazine on the weekends – it’s normal and pretty much expected of all adults. 

And then there’s the people like me. The ones who are caught up in the irrelevant mysteries of the multiverse, the purpose of all life on the planet, and the new season of Doctor Who. The people who don’t have a clue what’s going on in the real world because there’s a multitude of science fiction left to discover before our final doom comes into play.

It’s important to know all species that exist in the Star Wars Extended Universe, all theories of space beyond the view of the most powerful telescope, and to finish every Halo novel that’s ever been published. 

‘Current affairs’ for people like us doesn’t include discussions on trade with China or tax reduction plans. No, for us, what needs to be discussed is the reunion of Captain Picard and the rest of The Next Generation Enterprise crew.

Shouldn’t I pay attention to what’s happening around me? Why? It’s not like I have the power to stop wars or elect political leaders myself. I can’t solve world hunger or fix the pollution crisis. Better people than me have tried. So I prefer to keep my head in the clouds. Life is too short to stress about things I could never hope to help. I dream of space travel and hanging out with alien species across galactic barriers, venturing below the surface of the ocean and discovering Atlantis.

What’s really going on? Who really ever knows the truth.

I’ll keep my head in the clouds. It’s where I belong.

white cumulus clouds

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This is Why We Write

Is it just me?, life, Poems

And so we write…because at a young age, we were told that our problems existed only in our heads. Our issues weren’t something to be discussed out loud. Other kids didn’t have problems, so the fact that we did have an imperfect mind was taboo, something to be ashamed of.

And so we write…because we felt alone. After all this time, we still feel alone. It was never safe to say what was on our brains. So now we are trained to push our feelings away. Pretend those negative thoughts and feelings don’t exist, put on a smile, and show up as if the world inside our heads is sunny and clear.

And so we write…because there’s something wrong with us. We could never be what they wanted or expected us to be. We needed an outlet, otherwise we would have exploded into a massive bomb of tears and feelings. Everyone would have known…and we can’t have others knowing how imperfect our minds are.

And so we write…because we aren’t normal. They see sun, we see pain. They hear music, we hear thoughts of sorrow. They play and laugh, we sit in silence. They always said, “Why can’t you be normal? Why can’t you just be happy, like all the other kids?” Trust me, if I had answers I would have changed twenty years ago. But answers don’t exist. So I write.

And so we write…to hide the darkness that others are so ashamed of. A safe place on paper that the outside world never gave us. A place of freedom, where we don’t have to hide or push away the words of doom. On those blank lines we are free to spill every nasty, dark, gloomy, taboo thought. No one will ever see. No one will ever say, “Stop.”

And so we write…for the child who was never free. We write to be free.

person holding blue ballpoint pen writing in notebook

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This is Why I am Writing – Please Respond

Is it just me?, life

I write for self and sanity. I journal each day, religiously, with a pen and paper. It’s private, and no other soul will ever be allowed to touch my pages as long as I am living. 

So why the sudden platform? Why did I create a blog and start throwing out daily thoughts for the public to read?

Being alone is not always ideal. I’ve been alone most of my life in a journey of a vicious cycle, recovery, and depression. From time to time, it’s nice to hear that someone else is struggling with the same issues I am. It’s a warm feeling to know that others exist out in the world who have fought similar battles. 

I would never wish suffering upon others just to feel I have companions, but I know that I’m not the only person on earth with problems. It’s comforting to find people who know what it’s like to battle for our own souls. To work endlessly to end a disorder that’s been lingering for years. 

That’s why I’m writing. If there’s anyone out there who feels the same way I do, I want to meet and connect. I want to talk and have conversations and feel that I’ve found a friend for these journeys of life. 

We are not alone. I am not alone. You are not alone. We live in this modern society of connecting across country lines and beyond the normal boundaries, thanks to the internet and social media. We no longer have to feel that we are the only person battling these disparities.

I am writing to reach out. I want to hear stories from others – whether happy or grim. I want to hear, I want to read, I want to connect.

Please – if there’s anyone out there willing to talk and share, I’m all ears.

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This is a Safe Place to Speak