Keep Quiet, Keep Dignity

Is it just me?, life

Having a quiet demeanor in a world of loud mouthed people is depicted as weak by society, but the truth is, it’s a superpower. Holding the tongue with dignity is not a weakness, it’s wise. Those who disagree cannot stop talking long enough to even read this sentence. 

Most people tend to be quick to yell and argue, to shut their ears and scream back before listening, and to make every passing statement into a political battle. 

When did everyone become so volatile? So quick to react and erupt into a mess of insults and debates? When did sitting back to listen and observe with open ears and an open mind become so rare?

Or was the world always this way?

Regardless of how the world was, is, or will be in the future, it takes courage to hold back words and just listen to what’s going on around us. To stop trying to prove a point all the time or constantly get the last word in a conversation takes major will power in this day and time. 

Be the bigger person – it’s a cliché thing to say, but it means a lot. Don’t waste any precious breath on an argument. All it does is spike your stress levels and leave you with cortisol infecting your bloodstream for hours after the event. It’s not worth it, unless it’s your personal mission to ruin your day.

Instead, save some time by walking away and staying silent. It will frustrate the other person while giving you more time to spend on things that make you happy. Every time you see an argument happening, whether in person or on the internet, just walk away and look at funny pictures on your phone, or learn to tune out the unnecessary debates.

Keep quiet, with dignity. Let the foolish continue to scream and miss out on the important things in life.

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Stay silent and watch the flowers blow in the wind. (Bluebonnets in Texas)

Did Our Best (Poem 8 x 20)

Is it just me?, life, Metaphors in Nature, Poems

Smells like death

Rotting flesh

Nothing left 

Makeshift meds

Bloody mess

All regret 

Clean the wreck 

Make amends 

Start anew

Lose a few

Find the truth

Slice in two 

Waterloo

Flocks that flew

Back to you

In the tomb

Slow runner

Front gunner

Lackluster

Drug buster

Safe summer

Steel cutter

Flow flutter

Green gutter

Makes no sense

Deeper dense

Cleaner cleanse

Dependents

Feeling tense

Falling fence

Soul to rinse

Repentance 

Is it right?

Keep it tight

Start a fight

On this night

Toughest plight 

In hindsight 

You were mine

If I might

Is it wrong?

Sing a song

Play along 

Bang the gong

Don’t take long

Just be gone

Fling ping pong 

Search Hong Kong 

Make a choice

Then rejoice 

Making noise

Finding voice

Rainy moist

Skin so coarse

Racing horse

Frightful Force

Sky is here

Space is near

We have fear

Changing gears

Pouring tears

Losing years

Chasing deer

Life will steer 

Forget me

Set us free

Stop and see

Wipe it clean

Sights unseen

Halo three

I’m in need

Nightmare dream

Is this real? 

I can’t feel

It’s surreal

Voids to fill

They will kill

If we’re still

Moving meals

Rusty wheels 

Soul is hot

I am not

Here to rot

In this pot

Of the lost

On the cross

You forgot 

I can’t stop 

Make it rain

Show disdain

Burn in flames

Never stay

Go away

So ashamed

Fall from Grace

Face will fade 

What am I

In this life?

Who designed 

All this plight?

A disguise 

So outright

Melting eyes

In the sky

Who are we

With disease?

Cutting keen

Reverie

Can this be

All for keeps?

Play for treats

Or we leave

Peace on earth

Myths of dirt

Rip my shirt

Stop the birth

Gait or girth

Gift of myrrh

Hating her

Flesh and fur

Wars in stars

Beating hearts

Saving scars

Rip apart

Fly afar

Doors ajar

Gates to guard

Fight too hard

In this wake

We create

Signs of hate

No debate

Quickly fade

Leaves to rake

Souls forsake

Time to take

Get us home 

Save our souls

We’re alone

Off the road

Outlaw zone 

Broken phone

Losing hope 

Where to go? 

Fly it back

Now attack

Burn to black 

Trim and track

What we lack 

We distract

Make them laugh

They’ll all crack 

Let us rest

No more tests

Disrespect 

Fallen friends

Joking jests 

People pests

Ended less

Did our best 

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Giving Up A Long-Time Dream

Is it just me?, life

Imbedded since childhood, grown by unalterable loyalty to a powerful, glorified institution, this was a dream worth pursuing. It was everything I had ever longed for, including the rough lifestyle, major commitment, and unarguable glory from almost everyone in the country. 

It was right for me and I was perfect for it. There wasn’t a more dedicated heart in existence. Yet they saw the darkness that’s haunted me for years and judged me harshly. All the purity and goodness in my soul are pushed aside and forgotten because of the scars on my skin. The perfect grades, the physical preparedness, the pure soul and compassion – none of that matters when they take a peak at the medical history. 

It’s too bad, really. They wouldn’t have found anyone more loyal and dedicated. And I’m not sure I’ll ever find anything more inline with who I’ve always wanted to become. We are meant for each other, but because of modern rules and regulations, we will forever be apart. It feels so right, but it can never be reality. The rules are understandable to a point, yet in a way, archaic. Who hasn’t done what I’ve done? I’m being punished for being honest where others lie to gain access to the institution.

Movies are partially to blame, along with a childhood role model that influenced a young, hopeful brain. I had far to go and many challenges to face before the opportunity arose. By then, it was too late. I survived the worst of an internal storm, but not without losing something I can never get back, not without doing things I can never undo. At that young age I sealed a fate of being forced to live without the dream I’d always wanted. I made the choice – not the doctors, not my parents. It’s on me.

The choice was between living a normal life with a normal brain or choosing to pursue my dream. I chose the former option and let go of my aspirations.

Now what?

photo of u s a flag

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Thoughts on the Body

Is it just me?, life, Metaphors in Nature, Poems, This is Why I Don't Have Friends, Uncategorized

Cytoplasm electrified. Lost in the veins, searching for light. We travel beat by beat, deeper inside. Activate the catalyst for the enzymes, physiological breakthroughs and insights. Awaken the mind from its deep, dark demise.

Anatomical absinthe feeding attraction. Internal information covered in abrasions. White blood cells fighting red blood cells, dumping T cells into internal warfare. Spears thrown to pierce the growth of the tumorous moat around the throat.

Neurotic catastrophe, fading connections. Losing sheath, reducing speed. Activate the brain, let the master think. The whole body finds its strength again with the excitement of the central nervous system.

Mind right = body tight. Fight or flight mode is off tonight. Impulses shooting left and right, re-wiring for the upcoming plight. Intelligent thoughts stream through the limbs giving instructions on how to win. 

Blood is the train, taking crops to their rightful place. Ride the tracks down and back, dropping goods along the way. Feed the troops their rightful supply, they do their best to delay the death. Hardest soldiers you’ll ever find. 

Skin sucks it all in, no escape from within. The scalpel likes to dig and dig once it begins, but it cannot penetrate the defense mechanisms of the body systems. A perfect weapon against man made creations – the one organic machine here since existence. Can we improve the imperfect, yet fascinating and mind-boggling evolution of the human body?

Altered with the medicinal exportations, a shipment of calvary saves the brain from implosion and the heart from corrosion.

You pass a person and see her eyes, did you know there’s a war going on inside? Dopamine is weak so she’s learned to hide but deep down her cells inside have continued to fight. They are tiny, invisible to the naked eye, yet they’ll never let their hostess die.

What the fuck am I talking about? 

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A Clean Slate Would Be Nice

Is it just me?, life

In modern times, it’s impossible for anything to be unrecorded. Everything I’ve ever said, everywhere I’ve traveled, every prescription I’ve swallowed, and all that I’ve screwed up in my 25 years is documented somewhere. All of it is a major scar on my personal history that can never be erased or forgotten. 

And now, I’m forced to live the rest of my life with stacks of past failures following close behind. I’m basically wearing a backpack full of records for all the world to see. 

“Hey, you wanna read about my meltdown seven years ago? You should really know all about it before giving me a chance.” 

“Here’s a list of every medication I’ve ever taken. Judge me as harshly as you feel necessary.”

Seriously, nothing is private anymore. No one gets a legit “fresh start.” We only have one life and one bad screw up can destroy the remaining years, no matter if you have ten or eighty years left to go. 

With a clean slate – a truly fresh, bleached, shiny clean slate – I could do anything. All those dreams shoved down the drain could be revisited, all the mistakes tattooed on my records could never hurt me again, and I could walk the world without history weighing me down.

Do you want a clean slate, too? Are you in need of a fresh start in order to pursue the life you’ve always wanted? I’m sure thousands of humans would do anything to erase certain things from our pasts. It’s too bad we only get one life. We can live and learn and make changes for the future, but for a lot of issues we can never have another chance.

If I were reincarnated and able to remember the life I’m living now, I’d do so many things differently. But it does me zero good to dream about that, because it’s impossible.

Yes, messy records suck. There’s nothing I can do to change it, so I might as well keep living and try to do the best I can with what’s left of my life here on earth.

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Demons – Friends or Foes?

Is it just me?, life, Poems

The demons are nothing if not persistent. They’re always with me…lurking in the background of shadows and forgotten regrets. Even in the most glorious of days, they never truly go away. 

Mixed feelings arise always. The demons have brought excruciating pain, so I want them to go away. Yet, the demons have always been around, there beside me when no other soul would walk along my chosen path.

Enemies…companions…is it possible to be both? Those demons are all I have ever known. From an age too young to know, they were there. They waited patiently for me to grow and be exposed to the darker side of the world around me.

The demons saw an opportunity to create a monster. They amplified the imperfect scenes of my childhood. They made those moments stick and seethe in my soul as I grew older. They planted the seed of hate watched it fester and flourish until I began to know no other emotion.

Then a sickness started to swirl deep in my bones. It started small. But the demons, they were patient and persistent. They knew this small illness would develop rapidly into a lifelong turmoil. An eternal war within my body.

They sat there, watching. Silent. Smiling, as my suffering expanded with each failure to stop the sickness.

They were proud. They lead me to destruction while watching nearby. Never too far away. Never letting me leave their line of sight.

They have haunted me every moment of my existence. Losing them…pushing them away…it’s almost the equivalent of severing a portion of my own soul. The demons are me. I am them. I created them. What purpose do they serve other than feeding an addiction I developed as a young girl?

I want to destroy them. How do I destroy them without destroying myself?

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This is REALLY Why You Should Exercise

life

Everywhere we look today, there’s a new gimmick or program out geared toward losing weight. A long time ago, all of this stopped having anything to do with health and started focusing entirely on weight loss and how to gain a “perfect body.”

We’ve grown so overly obsessed with being extra think, having six pack abs, or lowing our body fat percentage down to almost 0% that we’ve completely forgotten and neglected our health (both physically and psychologically).

woman girl silhouette jogger

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Though it aches me to see diet program commercials and new nonsensical exercise equipment being advertised everywhere, I completely love exercise and what it can do for people. I have a Kinesiology B.S., and I’ve worked in the exercise field for over two years.

If we’re ever going to improve our health overall as a nation, we first need to separate exercise from this weight loss crazed society. Focusing on weight loss to better your health is like eating a loaf of bread to hydrate yourself. It’s just completely futile and will get you nowhere.

So what should you focus on when trying to improve your quality of life through exercise?

1 – The Heart. 

It’s the beat of the body and one of the most vital organs for creatures of all kinds. It’s the heart, and it pumps blood all throughout your body dozens of times each minute. Without a proper heart function, your ability to complete day to day tasks – even live in general – significantly decrease.

black and white blood pressure kit

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Cardiovascular disease is the number one killer of the modern American adult. That means that exercising and strengthening this organ is crucial.

So next time you head out to the gym or the park for a nice walk outside, think about how you are strengthening this awesome organ every step of the way.

black sphygmomanometer

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2 – The Stamina and Endurance.

Have you ever, or have you seen someone struggling while walking through the mall? Or the zoo? Or even struggling just from the car to the entrance of a store? It’s a life-inhibiting characteristic of too many humans these days – the lack of stamina.

Focus on increasing endurance capabilities during exercise. Tell yourself, “Next time I go on vacation, I won’t have to take as many rest breaks.” Or, “This summer when my grandkids visit, I will be able to keep up with them and spend more time with them.”

person swimming on body of water

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With a more functional body, conditioned to physical stress, you will have more ability to do what you love – whether that’s water skiing, chasing your dog around, creating a lush garden, etc.

Stamina and endurance – focus on these benefits.

3 – The mental/psychological benefits. 

Exercise is proven to lower stress levels and to help the human body expend stress hormones it accumulates throughout the busy days.

Stress is a killer. It can ruin your days by keeping you miserable and it can physically harm your body as it raises blood pressure.

The best activity you can do for yourself after a stressful day at work is to go out and exercise. It doesn’t matter what you do or where you go – the most important thing is that you do it. Take a walk, ride a bike, do jumping jacks for twenty minutes while watching your favorite television show – it doesn’t matter. Just take time for yourself and get that heart pumping.

woman in white cap shirt on stability ball

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Exercise can also improve your mood in general. Depression is a rising concern for most people. It’s debilitating and can make for an unhappy existence. Taking half an hour each day can significantly turn a negative thought process into having a more positive view of life.


Regardless of what you’ve believed about exercise and what it’s good for, teach yourself to focus on these three big factors listed above. Because improvements in these three areas are going to give you a better life – and that’s a promise.

“Perfecting appearance” is not a goal that is attainable. And it’s subjective. But improving quality of life through exercise – that’s an awesome goal that anyone of any size, age, or gender can accomplish.

healthy person woman sport

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Thank you for reading this post and I hope you take these messages to heart. Focus on improving your life experiences, and you’ll not be disappointed.

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Have an amazing day!

Carly Twelve