Fading Faces

Is it just me?, life, Poems, stories

It’s the most important face in your life for quite a long time. It finds its way into every passing thought and daydream. It makes you happy, then it makes you sad, it breaks your heart then heals it. There is a god and a devil mixed into that one single human face. So all encompassing, an obsession. Addiction. Dependency develops quickly and the thought of living without that face is the scariest possible future outcome.

And one day…that face leaves. Never to return. All that’s left are the memories, both good and bad. Your heart is broken. That face…it remains in the brain and haunts you night and day. You begin to think you might die without it. Part of you even wants to die rather than never see that face again. Pain.

Suffering. Deep, dark, sadistic suffering that endures through even the most glorious of moments.

The day eventually comes when you’re forced to either end it all or get the hell out of bed and back into the world. So you choose to live and let go. The process of healing begins. 

One day at a time.

After awhile, something truly magical happens – that face begins to fade. You begin to complete entire days without seeing that face pop into your present mind. Before you know it, you see it in a passing thought and think, “Wow, I haven’t thought of you in some time.”

The heart mends itself as long as you give it the chance to recover.

Years later you go through old photos on a USB you found in the closet. You see that face pop up and barely even remember it – the way it sounded, the way it walked – it was such a long time ago.

That face – that one face you thought would never leave your heart and soul, the one you thought you could never live without, the one that haunted you for endless sleepless nights – that face has faded into the old memories of forgotten days.

With time, like magic, a face will fade.

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The only cow that would look my way.

The Magic of “One Day…”

Is it just me?, life, stories

They are standing in the kitchen discussing the new house they’ll build in a few years, “when the time is right.” Their excitement is feeding off each other’s enthusiasm. They each have a list of what they want in the new home. She wants a larger kitchen. He wants a barn in the backyard and space for a garden. They both agree that a porch surrounding the entire home is a must. They have a notepad filled with sketches of floor plans to discuss and debate. 

The possibility of selling the current home and building a new one from the ground up gives them hope. They found a reason to push through the daily jobs they despise. Hope – whether false or not. It’s hope, and it helps their spirits to endure through arduous times. 

How many hopes and dreams are built off of a future endeavor? How often do we repeat the words, “I’ll be happy when….or if…this happens.” And, “until that comes, I’m holding out for better days.” Because better days have to exist, right? Otherwise, what are we all waiting for? Something more than what our lives consist of now must be making its journey here, as we speak. That’s why we suffer, isn’t it? To hopefully have a brighter future.

Will this dream house out in the country ever come to fruition? Will she get her kitchen, and he his barn? In truth, the outcome is irrelevant. Maybe this will happen, and maybe it won’t. That’s not important. What matters is they have hope and a reason to fight for their dreams. That notepad full of ideas – that’s where the source of their current happiness lies.

Hope for the amazing events to come is more powerful than the events themselves. Whether they come or not, they did their job. They gave us hope that one day, things could be better.

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County Road 2160

To Be Like A Child

Is it just me?, life

To be like a child and forget all the mundane matters of the world. That would be the perfect wish.

To run around carefree, laughing and skipping along every inch of an unplanned path. To never hold grudges or keep score, to see the earth as a place to explore. To have no concept of time, to read beyond the lines. Future is just a word, the past is long behind.

We were all once this free, before surrendering to society. A path of greed and gluttony, vicious cycles and disease. Go back to ages 2 or 3, when Love was all we’d need, a bit of food, a little sleep. Happy as can be.

Contentment…where does it go? It fades away as we grow old. We start to want more, unnecessary things to keep up and compare with others. We learn to be selfish and unkind, forgetting what it was like to be a child, twirling around in the wind, never thinking about tomorrow.

Now, we never think about today. Today is nearly over, so we think about the next. We die during the week and only wake for the weekend. We are far from free. Freedom is a concept long lost to the adult as views of children become disdainful.

“Look at those children, so careless and happy. One day they will learn that such feelings are inadequate and useless.” That’s what adults say. We’ve lost touch with what truly matters in life.

To be like a child…that is the dream. To run around, free…no worries of what is yet to come. Making the most of each minute, seeing a friend in everyone and everything. We think as adults, we are smarter, we are the more intelligent of our race.

We’re not. It’s children we should learn from. They have found the most beautiful way to live.

To be like a child…that is the mission.

adventure backlit dawn dusk

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