Fading Faces

Is it just me?, life, Poems, stories

It’s the most important face in your life for quite a long time. It finds its way into every passing thought and daydream. It makes you happy, then it makes you sad, it breaks your heart then heals it. There is a god and a devil mixed into that one single human face. So all encompassing, an obsession. Addiction. Dependency develops quickly and the thought of living without that face is the scariest possible future outcome.

And one day…that face leaves. Never to return. All that’s left are the memories, both good and bad. Your heart is broken. That face…it remains in the brain and haunts you night and day. You begin to think you might die without it. Part of you even wants to die rather than never see that face again. Pain.

Suffering. Deep, dark, sadistic suffering that endures through even the most glorious of moments.

The day eventually comes when you’re forced to either end it all or get the hell out of bed and back into the world. So you choose to live and let go. The process of healing begins. 

One day at a time.

After awhile, something truly magical happens – that face begins to fade. You begin to complete entire days without seeing that face pop into your present mind. Before you know it, you see it in a passing thought and think, “Wow, I haven’t thought of you in some time.”

The heart mends itself as long as you give it the chance to recover.

Years later you go through old photos on a USB you found in the closet. You see that face pop up and barely even remember it – the way it sounded, the way it walked – it was such a long time ago.

That face – that one face you thought would never leave your heart and soul, the one you thought you could never live without, the one that haunted you for endless sleepless nights – that face has faded into the old memories of forgotten days.

With time, like magic, a face will fade.

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The only cow that would look my way.

Everything and Everyone in this Existence

Is it just me?, life, Poems, stories, This is Why I Don't Have Friends

Everyone is someone, which means that no one is anyone. You might be nobody to everyone else, while no one means more to me than you. All the other ‘someones’ are no one. They fade to dust, you grow into perfection in front of my imperfect eyes.

Everyone wants to talk, but no one has anything to say. Ramble on. About what? No one and nothing of any importance to anyone with a mind of his/her own. Yet, every sound you make – it’s perfect sense. Nothing could be more beautiful. 

Everyone has the answers, but no one knows the truth. You – you are the truth, the only truth anyone should ever care to know. Someone has the answers out there, but no one should care about those answers. You are the answer.

Everyone is ONE individual world full of emotion, loss, happiness, pain, and perception. A single planet trapped inside anyone with a brain and beating heart. Your world is mine, mine is yours. Everyone’s planet is filled with someone of importance, but no one of reality. 

Who are you? And who am I? Answers will vary. Answers mean nothing. Perception is the god of our universe.

Who are you, to you? Because to me, you are the world. The world inside me dissolves into nothing when you come around. My world, here in my heart, I give it to you. Every inch, mile, and memory – all to you. The organs inside my chest are replaced with thoughts and images of your face. You are everything and everyone I’ll ever care to know.

Am I real? Do I exist? I exist as much as anyone else in my mind. As long as you exist, then I know I am real. You are reality, the only reality that I’ll ever care to live inside of.

Thank. you, eternally, for existing.

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Wow

The Magic of “One Day…”

Is it just me?, life, stories

They are standing in the kitchen discussing the new house they’ll build in a few years, “when the time is right.” Their excitement is feeding off each other’s enthusiasm. They each have a list of what they want in the new home. She wants a larger kitchen. He wants a barn in the backyard and space for a garden. They both agree that a porch surrounding the entire home is a must. They have a notepad filled with sketches of floor plans to discuss and debate. 

The possibility of selling the current home and building a new one from the ground up gives them hope. They found a reason to push through the daily jobs they despise. Hope – whether false or not. It’s hope, and it helps their spirits to endure through arduous times. 

How many hopes and dreams are built off of a future endeavor? How often do we repeat the words, “I’ll be happy when….or if…this happens.” And, “until that comes, I’m holding out for better days.” Because better days have to exist, right? Otherwise, what are we all waiting for? Something more than what our lives consist of now must be making its journey here, as we speak. That’s why we suffer, isn’t it? To hopefully have a brighter future.

Will this dream house out in the country ever come to fruition? Will she get her kitchen, and he his barn? In truth, the outcome is irrelevant. Maybe this will happen, and maybe it won’t. That’s not important. What matters is they have hope and a reason to fight for their dreams. That notepad full of ideas – that’s where the source of their current happiness lies.

Hope for the amazing events to come is more powerful than the events themselves. Whether they come or not, they did their job. They gave us hope that one day, things could be better.

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County Road 2160

The Sounds that Save My Soul

Is it just me?, life, Metaphors in Nature, Pets, Poems, stories, Wildlife

The laugh – that sweet, soft, soul stopping laugh that could melt even the hardest of hearts. When you see it coming and hear its tunes, you won’t be able to stop the smile from overtaking your expressions. No one – not the coldest, saddest, or cruelest of humans can resist the chuckle of the child.

The purr – a sound to let me know that he feels safe. That he’s happy in his forever home. A tiny motor running at full power. I put my ear to his ribs and listen. Warm, comforting, gentle and pleasant.

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Collin

The birds – they chirp and sing in the morning sunlight. A chorus of vast species to wake the spirit from rest.  A steady melody, one after the other. Flying, chirping, soaring from tree to tree through the early morning breeze.

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Seagulls in Galveston

The howls – the pups are hungry and excited to see the first glimpse of a human face for the day. Genuine love. Genuine happiness. It radiates with their every sound. I want to leap with joy alongside them.

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Ryder

The music – a song for sorrow, a ballad for love, guitars for greatness, bass for battles ahead. All moods, all challenges, covered in a three minute masterpiece of instruments and melody. They play in random order, each one causing feelings to stir in my heart.

And again, the laugh – always back to the laugh of the infant. It is without a doubt or debate the single most beautiful sound ever heard by a living soul. It meshes together every wonderful moment of audio into one single note. Every memory of happiness, everyday of excitement, each pleasure circuit activated in the brain – all sparked and spinning as one when the sound of the laugh hits my ears.

These are the sounds that feed my soul. Every second of everyday, they truly save me.